Funniest Signs

1) SIGN IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:

Bargain basement upstairs.

2) NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILT SHIRE PARISH:

Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

3) NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER's WINDOW:

Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

4) SIGN IN A LAUNDROMAT:

Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

5) IN AN OFFICE:

After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board

6) Sign on motorway garage:Will and Guy's humour - elephant joke

PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

7) Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

8) Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR Blind Persons Crossing

9) Notice in a field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

10) Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

11) Sign on a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

12) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW